One of the biggest growth moments in my life was when I decided to stop trying to fit in and just be me. I was suffering from codependency and imposter syndrome, and it felt like I was living a lie. Needing approval and acceptance drove me to make the change to grow. The final straw was being uncomfortable because I wasn’t being my authentic self.
I was doing things that just didn’t resonate with my true calling. Some of these activities included gossiping, nightclubs, and pleasing people. Growth started once I started engaging in activities that fit my personality. The start of my blog, trusting my discernment, and being honest about the roles I’ve played in situations started my journey into being me unapologetically.
Now I stand in my power with the ability to say no to things that don’t fit my narrative. I look back and appreciate all versions of Yae because the experience of each version has brought me to the current me. I’m now enjoying my interest that I would hide because I didn’t want to be judged. When you finally become yourself, what’s for you will come to you.
Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen. — Bren Brown
Being authentic is the ability to be your complete self without the validation of others. Standing on your morals and beliefs while living in our truth. It’s simply being yourself without a care in the world.
One of the many things I’ve learned in life is that people don’t like authenticity. It’s abnormal for an individual who spend their day putting on a facade. When someone encounters you and you have your own style, way of speaking, and sense of style, and you know who you are, they will dislike you for things they could be if they were not comparing themselves to you.
I’ve experienced this frequently in various times and settings in my life. I am a quiet, introverted individual, who will warm up once I’m comfortable. To an extroverted person, this appears standoffish, stuck up, and nonchalant. Despite my personality type, I actually enjoy socializing, so this was a constant struggle for me. It’s been a big part of my authentic self-acceptance to accept others’ perspectives about me and know that I can’t change them.
Having to prove myself repeatedly, over time became exhausting. It left me with no choice but to be who I am at all times no matter what my surroundings may think.
Being authentic is not something that is on you, it is something that is within you. Your job isn’t to tiptoe around someone’s disdain for your comfort in your own skin.
Don’t take this personally when it happens, it’s nothing more than projection. People will project how they feel about themselves so that they don’t have to face the improvements they need to make for their growth.
When they think you living in your comfort is a threat, they’ll try to attack your self-esteem. It gives them trying to humble you when you’re simply being you. We can think highly of ourselves while never being better than anyone else. The only life we have is the one we have, and who wants to spend it in the company of fake people?
“Be yourself — not your idea of what you think somebody else’s idea of yourself should be.” —Henry David Thoreau
Walking through this complex world and being yourself no matter who opposes you requires a lot of courage. If you were once someone who always tried to please others, you’ve probably had moments where you lowered your standards so others could accept you. In doing so, you lose sight of what makes you unique and you’ll become an inauthentic version of yourself.
When you’re not being yourself, you attract people pertaining to your false self. You may find the experiences you go through, don’t reflect someone who has a true knowing of self. It is when we finally decide that being authentic brings better positive life results and healthy people.
Life gets way better by living in your truth. You have more control over what energy you entertain, and you stop caring about what others think of you. I’m saying the entire world could be against you and you still choose to be yourself, that’s true authenticity.
Here are some tips on how to be more authentically you.
Never accept someone’s perception of you: Everyone you encounter will have their own perception of you. This is because they will see you from a view of projection. Once you learn to accept yourself fully, no one’s opinion of you will matter.
Embrace your flaws: Accept all of your flaws Instead of hiding behind them, celebrate them. In doing so, no one will hold them against you. You owned them so it won’t get to you if someone tries to make you feel a type of way about them. Our flaws make us 100% real.
Speak and live in your truth: A major key to living a stress-free life is speaking and living in your truth no matter what. Doing things that make you happy and living a life that is conducive to your happiness will distinguish you from the inauthentic.
Always be comfortable in your skin: There’s nobody like you! You’re uniquely made. Learn how to like yourself insecurities and all. We only get one life and we don’t want to waste it not liking ourselves. We have enough people in life who don’t like us, don’t be one of them.
Be okay with being different: It’s too easy to be like others, but being yourself is the true flex. It takes some time to really figure out who you really are, but when you do, make it mandatory to be you.
Work on your self-esteem: Think highly of yourself. Know that your worth is not tied to material things or life’s adversities. You’re simply worthy because you’re alive and you can have whatever you want if it exists.
Become more self-aware:This allows you to make the best decisions in life. Learn how to control your emotions and trust yourself. Knowing yourself is a superpower that allows you to be self-aware of your behavior and character.
Keep your word: It means doing what you said you’ll do. In doing so, you’re showing the utmost respect to yourself as well as others. When we keep our word we set a boundary of trust in ourselves.
Integrity: Doing what is right when no one is looking while being honest. Having strong morals and beliefs is an important aspect of being authentic. Always strive for good integrity.
When you give outsiders room for misinterpretation while staying true to yourself, you will develop tremendous strength. This will allow you to avoid people and situations that don’t align with how you present yourself. As a result, you won’t care what people think of you since you’ve been yourself without apology.
The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.–Carl Jung
Haute Milk & Honey 